Summer vibes of a “plus sized” girl (aka: anything beyond size 6, according to a recent article that called Rhi-Rhi “plus size,” AKA: WTF, AKA: BARF, AKA: SHAME ON YOU) Today, I wanted to take on the topic of being comfortable in my own skin, which has been a journey for me.
When I first came to US of A from Korea, I was 115 pounds and I was very skinny, which is deemed very normal for Korean culture. Mainly because I was eating VERY differently (sometimes, just a coffee a lemon loaf), dieting constantly, and with constant exercise regardless of how much calories I DIDN’T eat, I was always active to stay fit and mainly skinny.
When I came to the states, my main goal was to study hard and “get ahead of the curve,” as any good Korean first born would do. Also, I felt super guilty that my parents were paying for my tuition and I was an “international student,” because on base wasn’t an official US territory for colleges, just for military purposes (ugh).
Anyway, with new foods introduced into my diet, I feel like I definitely had the Freshman 15 + my love for burgers grew and I also found NEW foods to love. After finishing UW, getting into my political field, and some intense 70-90 hour weeks on political campaign trails, it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to not eat junk food or McDonalds. Seriously, when your life is just back to back meetings and you go to work at 6 AM and leave at 11 PM, what is normal food anyways (we can talk about some eff’ed up political campaign culture, but we don’t have time for that today)?
I tell you all this because after one very hard campaign, where I made a lot of friends, but also enemies, I gained over 80 pounds in less than 9 months. It’s not even that I ate a whole BUNCH of food, but I ate shitty food and I was super stressed (like, I should’ve gone to therapy stressed). I ate things that were available to me at a low budget, fast, and easy because in my mind, I didn’t have 5 minutes to waste.
I never weighed myself during this time because I was too scared but I think I was over 200 pounds and since then I’d like to think that I’ve lost some significant pounds. My goal is to be back at 130-150 and I think that’s pretty healthy for my height. I’ve heard people say, “Oh, Crystal you were so pretty, what happened?” “Oh, you are so overweight, Brian let’s you get that fat?” Literally, everything under the sun – Korean people DO. NOT. GIVE. A. DAMN. But, that’s the culture, they are very blunt. Maybe not a very nice part of the culture, but it’s part of it.
My journey toward that has never gotten easier, but I think I’m making progress. I think this is the FIRST TIME, in 3-4 years that I actually am sharing a photograph of myself “full body” in a bathing suit. I didn’t photo shop my arm rolls because ARM ROLLS NOT GENDER ROLES (AMIRIGHT?) And truly, I wanted to share the real me as snapped on the day of. I’m happy to share this journey with you and I hope you enjoy these snaps as much as I enjoyed shooting it!
Ciao, until next time!
Stripe Shirt @ Bauh Designs – here
Sunglasses @ Quay from Clementines – here
Bathing Suit – Nordstrom Rack (I think they are out, but similar here)